New year

New year

A new year has just begun where we will say goodbye to the old as we reminisce on the year that has now pasted us by, during this year we have encountered many things and as always they are stored away in our memory. The passing of time happens and there is nothing that we can do to alter it, but the one thing for sure is that this trend will continue until we leave this world. I’m not trying to write an obituary here I am only stating the obvious of which is no surprise to anyone, that’s just the cycle of life that some may even feel and believe will be repeated as there are still life lessons that we need to complete within this realm.

Whatever we believe is for us to know and to be at peace with but in the here and now we have to live within what we were given, we must strive to fulfil our dreams and find happiness which can be found in the most unexpected places. So where does it start this taking back control of who we are? How do we even know who we are? Can we stop living in the past by letting go of negativity? To accept that things happen in life because we are all capable of ridding ourselves of life’s hiccups, although they may seem huge at the time and so they may be because our overriding mind has far too much to hold on to. Until we can achieve a coping mechanism with everyday life we will never arrive at our biggest challenge, we can’t afford these distractions because our focus must be completely on the journey in front of us. Once this journey has been completed those hiccups will seem to be just what they are life.

Child abuse is the biggest obstacle ever possible that we will have to rid from our mind and unfortunately, it will be our biggest struggle, the pasting of another year I guess is not really recognised by us because our suffering seems endless. That statement really hits hard and I’m so completely exasperated by it, simply because it’s a true statement for so many out there that are still within their pain. So our job for the coming year is to once and for all heal ourselves from within we can’t move from that place until we decide it’s time, in truth, it’s most likely way past time so let’s change it because it starts with us and from within and not from without.

We are all so very aware of our own suffering and so we should be it’s relevant painful and distressing, its part of who we are and there is no separation from our child within or a magic spell that can take it from us. We have learnt to model our lives around our abuse because acceptance and recovery are all that we strive for, and for many, it’s an uphill journey that they are never quite sure that they can make. Life’s memories will always be a part of us but if we look deep enough they are not all as dark as they may seem, any memory that holds the stage front and centre will always crowd out any that are comforting or even verging somewhere in that not so often visited grey area. If we are brave enough to look seek and to find them they are there somewhere waiting and we are one more clear step towards our recovery, as for searching for anything even near to being in the light completely then maybe that’s reaching a little to far-but only for now. Although that may sound a little negative that’s not my aim because those memories are yet to be made they are out there in front of us. If we stay in the negativity we then become a prisoner of the past and that’s where we will unfortunately stay.

Being brave enough to make a movement towards peace and recovery is never going to be a walk in the park it’s going to take enormous strength, but you have it in spades that you should never be in doubt of, just take a look at where you are today your movement has already been huge. We should never doubt our ability to heal or kilter on self-doubt because that emotion is owned by the past which is something we can’t alter or rearrange. Once our mindset is in the right direction well that’s movement and movement in the right direction is where we need to go, with clear positivity we can turn our world on its axle creating a huge shift that we alone have the ability to achieve. All of the above may seem a little daunting because it’s our task and there really is no other way that first step has to be taken by us.

What we do have is an enormous support group throughout the world, and it’s to be envied even by those superpowers worldwide that think that they have all the answers. We have direct access to a network that didn’t need a textbook or to have studied child abuse because they have lived it, I’m not sure that we could ever find anyone quite so qualified to stand with us in our corner. We just need to be brave enough to ask and asking is something we are not that good at and receiving it extremely difficult. That may sound like an odd thing to say but if we look at it a little deeper asking means that we have to move and movement is our Achilles heel it’s painful right? Why should we turn over all of those painful abuse memories? The answer to that question is that until we do we will never let go of the past. The existence of a network of survivors is waiting to help you face that painful journey when you’re ready, but being ready is something you have to do alone with that support waiting all around you. OK, I guess that’s not sugar coating anything but what would be the point in that?

It’s going to be a completely scattered mess cast all around in every direction, we won’t know where anything is and our emotions will be mixed and painful. At times we won’t even own that which lays before us because acceptance hurts so why should we enter that place? The answer is that we have to or any support that we are given may feel as if it were pushed upon us when we are not ready to hold it. So the work starts with us at a level we can control until we feel we are on solid ground, when you arrive there you will know that it’s the time to ask for that support in a network that is fortunately unparalleled. When you are ready we are here just waiting in the wings and the knowledge you will have access to at that time will be that of real life, of shared abuse knowledge and you will always be understood and the emotions that we will feel will be shared because they have been experienced.

We will walk with you on this painful journey once asked but we can’t walk it for you it’s your healing that can be supported once your ready, we are here to lighten your load even help to carry some of it with you, but you first need to look for that solid ground on which to build. Make that start on your work within and as it emerges naturally it will emerge differently, that’s the time when asking is the right time so I’ll see you on the other side where your new year begins and what’s more your new life.

I will leave you with this last thought if we don’t hang together we will surely hang alone………….

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