I would like us to consider our inner child today and their right to be within to be part of us and accepted, It’s so easy to forget that without them we would never have made it this far without any doubt. It’s easier to think that they are the weaker part of our being but in truth, they have had to be so immensely strong whilst alone for longer then we have been with them within union. I feel it’s time that we recognise just what they have done for us throughout our journey asking only of the smallest requests which we then at times choose to ignore. Just think about that for a moment for all intents and purposes it must have been a very harrowing empty and frightful place for them. We ourselves have tasted that place even if infrequently seeing only a segment of their pain before getting the hell out of there and then avoidance becomes the rule of the day.
When we then reach a place of that merger it will be for sure without much elegance but we need to understand they have been holding us up for so many years, so do we reach a decision that they are no longer needed? I can’t think of anything more disturbing or completely untrue if not somewhat ungrateful. We asked them in childhood to take on these atrocities fears and nightmares, without the realisation of just what that meant for them and what that separation would mean. We must also recognise that at that time we had no other choice our outward child would have never survived unless we had, but it was forced separation and subsequently they had all those years of pain in front of them until we reached a point of trying to coexist. They have always been an integral part of us but carrying that weight alone they were never given any escape route, or a backdoor to flee through whilst we enter and retreat at will when it’s too painful to stay.
It’s so easy to blame them for all of our mistakes whilst on our separate journey but that is untruthful, mistakes were made by both parties and neither of us was feeling safe or held. The hardest thing we will ever do is to combine because it can’t help but to be a collision, and neither of us will feel at first that this becoming whole will ever work and just who would be lost? It can be somewhat likened to the clash of the Titans both feeling as if we are gods of war and maybe that’s just what’s needed. In truth, this will be the hardest fight you will ever encounter war hammers being thrown in every direction, we both seem to feel as if there needs to be a clear winner and happy to destroy the other in doing so.
Why this happens is so very complicated because within that reunion we are met with so many emotions that neither of us has as yet experienced together. We feel out of control as the thunder rolls and the lightning flashes all around us, and for sure the ground is cracking open beneath us as those thundering blows continue with huge impact exposing our weakness to the other. There can only be one true winner right? Conception and completeness at birth are long forgotten at that moment in time there is only survival.
Our inner child has never been very good at listening to their elder but it never fails to mimic them as any child would but not really knowing how there are so many emotions that they have never experienced and it’s enormously overwhelming. We don’t seem to have any control whatsoever over their actions at that time resulting in complete devastation, as cause and effect clash with the end result that would be envied by any Kraken and emanated by the god of war Aries. Any attempt to bring back any order will seem completely impossible without the help of those gods, with no clue as to how to repair the damage that lays stricken before us as we each attach blame to the other. It will seem unbelievable to us that so much damage can be caused in so little time, we are left with the prospect of trying to right our wrongs and the realisation that it may not even be achievable. At that precise section of time the gods are now abstaining their hands in the air as if they had not aided our complete breakdown at all! But through it we now stand as one.
This long waited of coming together was so very difficult but we have now reached a truce and no longer do we need to provide for each other separately. Ironically at that moment we stand naked from all emotion and feeling so extremely empty within. With it comes the realisation that although yes we are now complete it had a cost. Neither of us could have stopped what had just taken place we just couldn’t because it was a journey into the unknown. It had taken so long to reach that place of acceptance of each other without judgement but the battlefield of emotions we leave in our wake is terrifying, and our prayer’s to the almighty god Zeus proves fruitless. As he now seems to be sitting on his hands whilst Ares seems to be admiring his art at destruction.
Positivity can be taken even at that point of emptiness because when you’re so completely lost you have no other choice than to find yourself, but it may just have cost us dearly in a completely different aspect. The god of love Eros has let lose our hearts to the outer world to enable us to find the love within and there is no greater love than of one’s self. But to live in love with another there is no greater emotion felt and the oddity is that our capacity to love outwardly is now greater than ever. We have been through life questioning ourselves and those around us but it’s only now that we know the truth, and are to prepared to give that which we have always questioned our capacity to love in unity.
I’m not really sure what to tell you here because within our realisation we have it seems to become very much involved with Pax the god of peace well at least within us, at the same time reaching out to the Greek god Harmonia the god of harmony and concord but it seems that she has lost her touch. Just how do we put right the wrong that we had plundered in to? Right there and then we have no clue we can’t even ask our inner child because that separation is no more we stand alone now within our choices.
We are left in a state of bewilderment without the power available to those much praised and powerful gods. When we have people in our life at that time of going through this huge adjustment we can lose sight of them as we are forced into negotiation within, and we can create a world of pain for them without intention. I’m truly not sure that it could have been avoided because we were within a sea of pain during that time ruled by the Greek god Poseidon, as we now find ourselves praying to the god of regret Hades. Hades was also the god of the underworld and the ruler of the dead and it’s quite fitting because we have indeed reached a death-the death of the separation within us. The only thing possible is to hope that Minerva the god of wisdom and understanding will come to our aid, without it there is no real apology that will cover that which we can’t change or explain around journey we have just taken.
It’s important to understand that the loss we are addressing here is two-fold or even three i.e. you and that child within and of course there could be that significant other they will also feel that loss. But all will become clear within your journey if clear is even a word we can use here when everything around us is anything but during that time. For sure there will be a loss within us when our broken souls merge because both sides will need to leave something behind, it will be unavoidable there will be aspects where we differ greatly and things that the other won’t tolerate. This will change as we learn how to act within that oneness until it is no longer felt and we act as one, yes sacrifices will have to be made by each but in time we will arrive at disarmament.
I’d like to say that it will not be the same for all of us and in truth it isn’t everyone journey is different and personal to us, but we will all have to encounter this journey at some point. Because when there is no unity within and that’s what we are striving for how could we ever avoid it? We have reached a place of truth aided by the goddess Veritas, and we have no other choice but to realise that we are standing within truthfulness and at peace. At that time of our new beginning, all we can do is to reach out to the god of healing Asclepius, for both ourselves and for the people that may have been harmed during our transition. There may be many more than we realise because during that time the only clear interaction is happening where others can’t go, even if there were space which clearly there isn’t they are safer not to follow us at this time of enhanced emotions.
It seems that we had to let go of everything before we could even contemplate picking up anything new, and our only defence is that without clear thought we couldn’t see clearly. Our pain seemed to consume us to a point of selflessness and anger even our actions may have seemed a little insane for a period of time. I am reminded here of the proverb that we only hurt the one we love but we may have just taken it to a completely different level but maybe that is why? although completely unfair maybe it feels as if we have some degree of safety or understanding when we reach a place of complete collapse, and before we are able to complete our journey sorry will seem to be so extremely empty when we visualise just how much damage we may have created and we will, without doubt, will not be spared we will have our share.
But in truth what can we say? As we recover from that happening and the painful realisation of the emotions we may have tread upon, without being able to control that happening hearts will be broken to include our own which is suddenly so clearly evident. Sadly on emerging into our now reality there may only be two things that we will still have hold of acceptance and ownership, but it can’t hurt to offer up a prayer to the goddess Charis for her beauty nurturing nature and capacity for forgiveness. Our future is indeed now in the lap of those gods but we must hold on to the fact that we won’t need to make that journey again, it was a once in a lifetime deal which once struck there was no retreat we were within it until we found a way out together.
All of the above I’ve used for the purpose of literary connection, but in essence, this experience for many is reminiscent and in time it will be recognised by others. It’s a journey for many that they still have yet to make and we will all become that child at that moment, unable to cope or control any emotion as we are drawn within before we are able to emerge as that adult in recovery. The question begging is why? Maybe it’s because our inner child can’t make it out on their own unless we return to the playground and stay long enough to close the gate behind us, there will be so much pushing and pulling on our emotions that anything is plausible whilst feeling that we are trying to deal with the impossible.
I guess if we are to believe in god or spirit then why not all gods however mythical? Today it has served me as an aid to writing this piece whilst struggling with the transference of my emotions because this is a journey I have already taken so I know it well. We travelled back to the time of mythology in a hope of being able to explain the extreme happenings with more vigour and just how extreme our emotions will become. We have reached back into the past today to a time where everything would have been so very different but I’m sure that child abuse has always been prevalent, time may have moved on but it seems that the world is still plagued with these atrocities. Each day as it arrives there will be someone new standing just where I placed my feet not so very long ago and they will be held there because it’s their time.
When faced with this offer of union however difficult take it now it’s your time because there may not be a second time of asking…………….