September 2018

Transference Of Pain

The above title can be so destructive not only to the person receiving this but also the person transferring their emotions because it doesn’t come from the side of light but of the shadow side. As beings we are subject to a range of emotions and not only those that we should embrace because there are always two sides to a coin, and at times it seems that we throw that coin in the air without thought of where it may land or which side is up. There are so many reasons why this happens but the ultimate reason is that we are unable to carry that pain alone, we feel that unless we can unload some of this pain somewhere we will buckle below it. It’s a redirection of our emotions because they are just too much to hold. Specialised psychology will tell you that it’s a situation in which a person receiving treatment unloads their thoughts and emotions on to another. This happens often whilst within a place of treatment towards recovery especially to the person that is treating the individual, because they are the person pulling the lid off as it were and as such exposing the contents within. This is something that therapists should always be aware of and in truth expecting from their clients, a movement or a shift will always occur it’s unavoidable if positive recovery is to begin.

Often the act of transference is more than a little unfair because it’s a heavy load to put down and expect the another to hold, even if this is unintentional or from a place that we really should try to avoid and in hindsight we wish that we had. The truth is that we will all do this at some point within our lives because it’s part of being human, so in essence it’s a human trait that is within all of us along with many others that represents the makeup of who we are. We have all heard or even said “I am only human” well in truth that’s all we can be with all the strength and weakness that we are born with along with those that have been inducted upon us. As abused children we have so many shadowy memories of the past that at times takes hold and seems to run a-muck and are completely uncontrollable, but all we can do with that is to recognise that the situation has occurred and try to atone for that momentary lack of control or painful reaction.

We will never leave a situation like this with a clean bill of health because we ourselves will feel its repercussion and we will never leave unscathed, in all truth at such times we ourselves lose so much and we are then at a complete loss as to how to put things right. Its seems that only being human whilst giving us many gifts throughout our lives will also be our downfall at other times, at such times all we can ever do is our best and hope that the damage is repairable.

I’m going to end this piece here right now because it’s so very close to me and a painful place in which to stay, but it’s also another life lesson experienced and to learn from but not one in which I wish to return to.

“But I’m only human”…………………………….