August 2014

Our Alter Ego

best alter egoEveryone has a little voice inside their head that sometimes defines them, at times we all find ourselves feeling trapped within a set of circumstance. For us all, without exception, we have duties of sorts to complete during our waking hours. These are as varied as we are because no two people are the same so we will attack those duties differently. It’s what makes us the right person for that job; it’s a place where we and we alone fit. Our choices in life can be restricted by our alter ego more times then we know, it sits silently in the background but we must always remember that it’s there. Within our alter ego we find escape, freedom, a carefree look at life when we need to look away from where we are. It’s sometimes referred to as a ghost whose only job is to whisper alternatives in our ear. The happy go lucky you that is having a ball of a time to all that surrounds us. It’s a character that comes from within our imagination. We welcome it with opens arms as we dance within the game of life. It’s a cut off valve that knows just when to realise that pressure – somehow knowing when the pipe is about to blow. Our own armature superhero created to swoop in and save the day. We use it often, mindlessly reacting to a quick change of situations. It’s who we talk to whilst weighing up our options, continually darting around within our mind; this done silently without thought why because it’s purely a reaction. It’s the fun side of us, a release from the pressures of life that everyone experiences.

Our alter ego could and would not be there without our input. Quite simply put it’s where we place the things that give us joy. It makes us feel better when it’s raining outside. We strive to create a happy space by placing the positive things we gather throughout our journey. It’s the chancier within that sometimes gives us the push we need to complete something that may scare us just a little. Our opposite side of the coin the friend we can always count upon to see our side of things.

But what if it’s not?

What if that alter ego was a place of darkness – a place which you try to avoid at any cost, where your imagination had created the complete opposite?

As I have said above, we create a place which makes us feel better by placement. Things that stick in our minds because of the great joy they bring. They have become outstanding events in our mind because of the magnitude of their very being. What if the outstanding events within your mind were so very far from utopia? Abuse leaves its mark like a cavern of explosions reducing your world to a battlefield. If this abuse was from an early age then having something to place within your alter ego that makes you feel joy of any kind is almost impossible. As we grow, we learn the skills we need in life to become a whole rounded person learning from our peers. We learn to walk before we can run from those in direct contact with us – a mirror image of who we may become. The building blocks are put in place by them to make that structure solid.

But what if they aren’t?

We are left within the remains of an explosion creating a landfall where we crawl around blindly in its remains. Aimlessly digging around, hoping that the bits we need have not been blown so far apart that their reassembly is just a pipe dream – where to even think we can find a happy space to place within our self-made alter ego is a dream too far. The greatest truth is that we can’t step away from the confinements within our lives when they become too difficult. You can’t unlearn things; we can only try to rearrange them in the hope that there are still some pieces that may fit.

So – all the above said, what are our options?

Options when broken down are just a matter of putting one foot in front of another to move forward without doubt, options are the judgement calls that we make now. Quite frankly our alter ego may scare the hell out of us, but it will always be a part of us – no matter what. We can’t remove it by just taking a rubber to a chalk board, but we can learn that living with it is something we can do. No one said that the alter egos we have right here and now are the ones we are stuck with; they are just our present. In truth, they are not even that important – because they are our past what we are looking at now is our future. Somewhere deep inside there is the alter ego that is waiting for the last dance. It’s the wallflower that always wanted to be asked to dance whilst being passed by. It’s the laughter and the joy that is just waiting to be untapped. It’s the smile on your face as you greet each morning no longer afraid of a backward thought. It’s the joy you find in those you choose to surround yourself with on this continuing chapter of life. It’s the happy dog wagging its tail just from the joy of greeting, so happy to see you no matter how the day has pasted.

The whole truth is that we can’t bend mend or alter who we are, we can only look for the good and not expect the bad around every corner. Within you is all the strength you need to choose the right options for you. Tomorrow could be a good day with many more to come.